Time

It has been awhile since i have written. With that said, it doesn't necessarily mean i know what to write. Thanksgiving came and went, school is out, Christmas is past and we are on the brink of falling into a new year. Yet sometimes it is possible to catch of glimpse of time standing still. It does that every once in awhile. In a theoretical way of course. Moments in life when we feel we can't go on, time understands, pauses, then moves forward. It is like time is reminding us that we need to do the same. I wrote a poem about time once.

Time is just a word,
but it impacts a life.
Changes the world,
in the blink of an eye.
Time will not stop,
it is constant,though sometimes,
it seems,there is more...or less.
Time is a thief,
with each breath we take,
our youth is stolen.Precious moments pass.
Time cannot be broken,or made.
We are slaves,we follow time's law.
Yet, time gives us joy,happiness.
Allows for moments of peace,
and reminiscing. Lets us cry,
and feel sorrow.
Time's intricate simplicity affects our world,
changes a life, molds the individual.
Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.
Only time can tell.


Only time can tell.

Lazy Days

So I was sitting here doing my homework and listening to my music, when all of a sudden the song Sacred Ground by John Schmidt started playing. This is a lovely piano piece and I had to stop reading my text book and just listen. As I listened my eyes were drawn to the clouds and my mind was pulled into reminiscence. I recalled some of my favorite lazy days. Sometimes I just love to lay out under the sun and watch the clouds. The experience is very mind stimulating. It is so peaceful and relaxing. Another of my favorite things to do is go for a walk in the rain, or better yet, sit cuddled up in a blanket on the couch reading a book, with the pitter-patter of the rain as my soundtrack. Another is when my family would go camping, camping is pretty much a bunch of lazy days, sometimes, because often I would lay on the rocks by the lake, the hot sun on my back, the slight breeze ever constant, listening to the lap of the waves on the rocks. I love it when I can just wake up in the morning to the suns rays falling on my face, I love just laying in bed and contemplating life. These wonderful moments give me an opportunity to remember how blessed I am! I miss lazy days, its been awhile since I've had one.

Being Afraid

Recently I had the opportunity to spend an evening out with some friends up in Idaho's hills. It was at night, and we decided to go on a hike down to a dam, on the way down, one of the guys mentioned something about wolves prowling around which instantaneously frightened one of the girls in the group. Well, wolves are scary after all, especially when walking down a steep dirt road surrounded by trees, in the dark with a few flash lights, and no stars or moon to light the way. The idea of a wolf coming after us was not too pleasant to think about, but I wasn't phased given that wolves probably weren't in the area, and there was a small group of us and we had some light.

This thought of being afraid of wolves got me to thinking, about what I was really afraid of. Honestly I couldn't come up with anything, the reason is because of the knowledge I have. When I was younger my family would often go camping. To get to the lake we drove on curvy roads by the side of the mountain. During our drive I would look down the vertical steep slope to the river below constantly paranoid of a possible accident resulting in our car going off the road and rolling to the river below. Every scenario possible flew through my head, I was afraid of losing my family and being the only one left alive, I was afraid of dying, I was afraid of only one of my brothers or sisters dying, how could I live? I was afraid, so after minutes of psyching myself out I finally would turn my head, look toward the other side of the wall, and trust my parents to get us to the camp site. They always did.

As I got older and was educated in the gospel a little more I realized death is not something to be afraid of, not at all. So I decided one day I would never again be afraid to die. Why? Because of the Plan of Salvation and the doctrines taught at church. I know that I am on borrowed time here on earth, when that time is up then I will return to my Heavenly Father. Why be afraid to return to Him, when that is one of many significant goals I have here on earth. Paired with the decision to not be afraid anymore I realized how much the scripture about always being prepared suddenly meant a lot to me. If I wasn't going to be afraid anymore, then I needed to be prepared to leave this earth at any moment in time. So I decided I needed to do all I could to be a better person. Sometimes it is so hard. Especially at times I feel as if I am a lone, but I'm not. He is there beside me, helping me. I am so grateful for the knowledge of Christ and is Atonement, for the enabling power of faith, and for His grace. This gospel of Christ is so perfect, just like He is. It is after that perfection that I strive for. I think the hardest part is knowing that I'm not perfect yet, or after I make a mistake I am brought back to the realization of how far I have to go. But, there is hope, there is always hope. As long as get back up after I fall, take one step at a time, and trust in Him, I will make it!

That is why I am not afraid of anything. Everything was created by God, I have no need to fear.

What I Do Is Me

What I do I am,
this is who I be,
which ambiguously describes me.

Usually on the first day of classes teachers ask us each to stand up, introduce ourselves, and say something that makes us unique. I am definitely not a fan of that question, because as much as I would like to, I don't think I can completely describe my uniqueness in less than half a second. So why try? I know who I am, I like who I am, but to describe who I am? Its kinda hard, so I wrote this poem in honor of that question. Maybe in class next semester I will quote my own poem, which inspiration came from Hopkins.

Blessings

This one will be quick. Lets just say that it is so amazing how a bad day can turn into a good one, and then at the end of the day you are blessed with everything you need at that moment. Today has been one of these wonderful days that help me remember who I am, who I serve, and who loves me. It also helps me to appreciate what I have and what I've been given. For that I am grateful!

Explanation

So, first of all I'm not really supposed to start my sentences with so, I'm pretty sure its bad grammar. Second, I'm really sad that there are only eight choices of font style, and all of them are pretty boring, none of them seem to match my personality, not that font defines my personality, because it doesn't, but I usually like my font to match my mood, especially when I am writing about what I'm thinking, Oh well, I will have to deal with it. Not that it is really a problem at all.

So I have had this ongoing debate in my mind whether I should even create, and continue to update my blog? Argument: whats the point? Rebuttal: So people can read what I write? Argument: Not many people will read this, so again, whats the point? Rebuttal: Maybe someday down the road people close to me will read it, besides I like to write? Argument: You have a journal you hardly write in, start writing in it. Rebuttal: True that, but I am with my laptop all the time, why not keep an online journal? Argument: An online journal will leave an opportunity for all you write to be read, all thoughts, feelings... everything personal, online? Rebuttal: So maybe just write about my thoughts on life, the things that are important to me, my hopes, dreams, things about the world that I want to tell the world, and leave out the really personal stuff that belongs in my handwritten journal. Debate ended. I win!!! (hahaha I am laughing at myself because I think I'm funny)

So I decided I will post a blog, obviously because I am writing one, although I should be sleeping right now...anyway....because of my final argument in my debate I found a title for my blog. Which I am not going to explain, because #1 I am pretty sure everyone owns or has access to a dictionary, and the dictionary is my friend. #2 I sometimes just really don't like explaining myself. The way I see it, if I don't need to, why do it?

This concludes my first blog, in which I had great difficulty in deciding whether or not should exist, which I am not completely sure of my decision, I guess I will find out in the morning.